I’m stunned enough to blog about this: I’ve heard of Pineapple Express, the latest Judd Apatow stoner movie, but today was the first I heard it was directed by Little Rock native David Gordon Green (George Washington, All the Real Girls, Undertow — wiki here). It’s even photographed by Tim Orr, whose photography on previous Green films attracted all the (wonderfully deserved) Terrence Malick comparisons.

I’ve not seen it, but it sure doesn’t seem like DGG’s kind of movie. Here’s the first review I’ve seen.

I’m on the fence about what fantasy football outfit to use this season. I’ve used (or, more appropriately, not used) Yahoo! for the last few years, but I’ve noticed that updates to player stats are sometimes late in coming (if at all).

This year the Guardian is hosting a FF game, and I just noticed that the Premiership is also offering one (both of these, like Yahoo!, are free).

I’d be inclined to think that the official Premiership game will be the most accurate and up-to-date, but I haven’t ever messed with it.

Have any of our 4-5 readers ever played FF somewhere other than Yahoo?

Has anyone noticed that Alexander Hleb looks like the lead singer of the Psychedelic Furs?

Hleb pitches up at Camp Nou

Barcelona have signed 27-year-old Arsenal midfielder Alexander Hleb for a fee of £12m that could rise to £13.5m.

After putting pen to paper on a four-year contract the Belarus international described the move as “a dream. I love this team, I will give my best and I want to win everything with Barca.”

Since joining Arsenal from Stuttgart in 2005 the midfielder made 73 league starts for the Gunners, scoring seven times, but he never settled in London.

Hleb recently said he was not happy in Britain and said he “could not get used to the chaotic way of life in London. It is uncomfortable and I am mentally tired.”

I can’t fathom how a club could cope with this. This is pretty much a death sentence, no?

Luton to face 30-point deduction

Luton will start next season on an unprecedented minus 30 points after a ruling by the Football League.

The Hatters had already been deducted 10 points by the Football Association after being found guilty of misconduct for paying agents via a third party.

And the company which will take over the club has now been told it must accept a further 20-point deduction in order to be allowed in the League.

The penalty came after Luton failed to satisfy the League’s insolvency rules.

The combined 30-point deduction is the biggest in Football League history, giving Luton an extraordinarily difficult task in trying to avoid relegation for the third season in a row. Bookmakers have already made them 10-1 on favourites to drop down to the Blue Square Premier League*.

Wonders never cease.

They should replace “makes” with “headlines.” Can’t wait for the half-time show.

Beckham makes MLS All-Star team

David Beckham has been selected in the Major League Soccer All-Star team which will play West Ham in a friendly in Toronto later this month.

The team was voted for by fans, players, officials and the media.

Beckham’s LA Galaxy team-mate Landon Donovan led the voting and was followed by the England midfielder and Chicago Fire midfielder Cuauhtemoc Blanco.

New England Revolution coach and former Liverpool defender Steve Nicol will manage the team for the 24 July game.

Here’s the extended dance remix of Guy Ritchie’s Nike commercial. Now with more Gallas!

There’s a full list of all the teams here, but these are the ones I’m most interested in (teams of interest in bold):

First round:

Linfield (Northern Ireland) v Dinamo Zagreb (Croatia)
Drogheda United (Rep of Ire) v Levadia Tallinn (Estonia)

(First legs to be played 15-16 July, second legs on 22-23 July)

Second round:

Rangers (Scotland) v Santa Coloma-Kaunas winner
F91 Dudelange-Domzale winner v Dinamo Zagreb-Linfield winner
Panathinaikos (Greece) v Dinamo Tbilisi-NSI Runavik winner
Murata-IFK Goteborg winner v FC Basel (Switzerland)
Aktobe-Sheriff winner v Sparta Prague (Czech Republic)
Drogheda United-Levadia Tallinn winner v Dinamo Kiev (Ukraine)
Fenerbahce (Turkey) v MTK Budapest (Hungary)

(First leg ties to be played 29-30 July, second legs on 5-6 August)

TDG is excited about this one. Frankly, I’d like to see Lampard join Mourinho at Inter, but that’s not looking like it’s going to happen.

Chelsea sign Barca playmaker Deco

Chelsea have signed Portugal midfielder Deco from Spanish giants Barcelona on a two-year deal for a fee of about £8m.

The 30-year-old was recently told by Barca’s new coach Pep Guardiola that he did not feature in their future plans.

“It is good for me to be here and first of all I am very happy to be here,” Deco told Chelsea’s official website.

Deco becomes the Blues’ first signing since Portugal coach Luiz Felipe Scolari was appointed manager earlier this month.

Meanwhile, Liverpool is trying to sign Robbie Keane, Adebayor still doesn’t know what he’s going to do (aside from messing with the press), and I wish this disloyal asshole would just pack up and leave already.

…46 days ’til the start of the season…

Euro 2008 is finally over, and I think it was the best international tournament I’ve ever followed. Spain got the Cup, and they earned it. The better team won yesterday.

Spain ecstatic at Euro 2008 win

Thousands of euphoric Spanish fans have been celebrating in Madrid after their football team won Euro 2008, beating Germany 1-0 in the final.

Fernando Torres’ goal gave Spain their first major trophy in 44 years.

The capital was awash with the red and gold national colours as fans draped in flags danced and sang in the streets. …

Spanish newspapers revelled in the victory.

“We are the Champions” crowed the Marca and AS dailies on Monday morning.

Coach Luis Aragones was praised for sidelining some top stars, and deciding to field a young side.

“Aragones has been the hero, the saviour, the key figure in the success,” the Sport daily proclaimed.

AS used lofty language to hail the Spanish triumph.

It said football “has evolved over a century and a half. This team is at the apex of this development and has won with a succession of works of art”.

Spanish Prime Minister Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero was at the stadium and visited the team in their changing room afterwards.

“It’s a privilege to be able to be here,” he said.

“But this is only the beginning, there is more to come. The World Cup is next.”

Several good points made by the Gaffer over at EPL Talk after the Spain v Italy snorefest. I don’t particularly agree with the bit about trying to encourage new fans in the US, though. The “battle to try to win over fans of traditional sports and make them soccer fans” is what brings us inane talking heads like Julie Foudy and a completely irrelevant tie-in to a Rolling Stones DVD (!?!). I think it would be best for the sport (worldwide) if it never caught on as anything but a niche sport in the US.

It was supposed to be a classic. Two of the top teams in Europe, Italy and Spain, with some of the best footballers in the world on display. But what we saw was a dire game featuring two teams more focused on avoiding defeat than trying to win. …

The better team on the night won but only barely. Spain, the consummate underachievers, lacked the creativity and clinical finishing in front of goal to put this match away. Against a different opposition they may have had a chance to shine better but I expected more from the Spaniards. Unless they can improve in a few days time, I feel Russia has an excellent chance of making it to the final.